10.12.12

Miriah's epic adventure

So, I woke up at quarter to five in the morning because my brain is a crime against humanity. Because my brain is a crime against humanity, I couldn’t then get back to sleep, so I decided I wanted to do some rare and relic hunting. Nyxrinne, I felt, was far too well-equipped for such a venture, so I hopped to my old main, Miriah, and started out.

The main advantages of being Miriah are as follows.

  • Miriah is on a dead PvP server.
  • Miriah is still in her old Cataclysm sets.
  • Miriah cannot fly.

This makes for a lot of untouched spawns, the ability to pounce on the competition and wrestle them off cliffs, a lot of gear to upgrade, and a lot of Actual Exploring to be done from the ground.

I basically blitzed through every single Jade Forest rare, because they were all kind enough to show up to my party. Krasarang and Four Winds were slightly less obliging, but surrendered after a few circuits and tea breaks and a brief stint questing to make Miri colourful.


Apparently 'colourful' isn't a desirable look for a priest of the Forgotten Shadow.

She picked up epic leggings, amongst some solid blue drops, and I became increasingly arrogant. What about crossing the wall and taking on the mantid, I thought.

But it became clear that first there should be yaks.

Image heavy and ridiculous beneath the cut.

One thing became glaringly apparent quite early on: Yaks are not majestic creatures. They help you in much the same way cats do.


Yaks get your faces out of that.


Yaks can't you see I am trying to mock Blizzard's localisation fail?


Yaks- actually, props for that formation.


Oh.

The yaks were kind enough to escort me all the way through Hozen land in search of the Hozen weaponry that never spawned. I anticipated ongoing Excellent Adventures together. Miriah and Yaks, the new faces of shadow power.

Then: unnecessarily violent intervention.


To its credit, the Sha of Anger is very accurate with its unique take on spawn ganking.

Thus bereaved, I decided to show the Sha how far beneath me it is, after it had shown me just how mushed I could be beneath it.

For this, I would require a goat.


Goats have an air of drama, you see, and also climbing feet.

Being a Grand Adventurer, I started my ascent up the first side of the mountain I was able to get my goat feet into. This went well to start with.


Sha of Anger crushed beneath the heel of the long-distance mist.


Then, dragons. My raider mind is concerned about the frontal cone at this angle.

Heading further up, even the goat feet became less than reassuring as the land became increasingly vertical.


If Grummies need safety gear, you need to reconsider your approach, and perhaps renew your life insurance policy.

I reached the point at which running toward the peak became remarkably like running against a wall. An ice wall. An ice wall you slide against and plummet three kilometres to your death. Reaching a dead end, I looked out, and saw this.

Note vertical nature of cliffside. Also pictured: ice death boulders.

I think it is a solid testament to my gamer mindset that I saw this and thought aha! that's the way! Ice death boulders are like most kinds of boulders, really, in that they guarantee you are running in the right direction, because the right direction always magnifies the chance of death. (Unless you take "the wrong direction" to extremes and jump into lava or acid, it goes without saying.)

I readied levitate and leapt. Tornadoes and boulders awaited me, and each fell victim to a deft goat sidestep. On past Lorewalker Cho I went, and discovered what I believe, set beside the scrabbling, vertical horror I had recently fled, would be well-named "easy mode."

Blizzard cater to the casuals.

No relic awaited me at the top. After all that... it really didn't bother me. Apparently I'm not only easily amused at stupid o'clock in the morning, but fairly placid too. Furthermore, the climbing had given me an unique opportunity.

I went on to loot the Yaungol Fire Carrier, defeat Eshelon and Gar'lok. I fought Ai-Li Skymirror to a standstill a few times, but that sucker heals too hard, too often for weakling, underlevelled little Miri.

The Dread Wastes changed the tone of my exploration, anyway, from frantic and absurd to outright deadly. Nyxrinne has it easy, flapping about in the sky - that whole zone is a mass of angry buzzy things coming from above, and angry whirly things tunnelling up from below, and rank upon rank of angry elites who do not approve of your jaywalking through the Horrid March. (Do not jaywalk through the Horrid March.)

Miriah is, for now, curled up on the coastline awaiting the continuation of her trek, in search of amber and sharp stabby things. There will be rares. And much, much exp.

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